Meet the team
You all know me, but how well do you know my crew?
We’re a tight knit family and just like any other we have our moments were we don’t always get along – but god help you if you upset one of us!
Also wanted dead or alive. He’s been with me so long he’s started to wear my clothes! He won’t say how old he is but I’ve heard that the Vikings brought him over when they invaded Blackpool
Head of Security
He looks terrible even in a bikini! A single man, because he can’t find a partner who drinks as fast as him!
He’d only get a haircut if it was half price even if he didn’t need one. He once pulled a tenner out of his pocket and the picture of the note was the Queen aged 10 (he said it was Phil’s)
The newest member to the crew, he’s a bit of a stray – we got him from Battersea Dogs Home – he’s sniffed a few dogs too
Sound and Lighting Engineer
He’s been doing well since Prince Charles lent him his ears
He told me ‘we were once schizophrenic but the three and a half of us are ok now!’
She once said ‘if the voices in my head came down to my throat, I’d be Beyonce’
Driver and Merchandise Cashier
He’s seen less pussy than the Pope and he’s tighter than a ducks arse!