Meet the team
You all know me, but how well do you know my crew?
We’re a tight knit family and just like any other we have our moments were we don’t always get along – but god help you if you upset one of us!

Richie

Richie
Tour Manager
Also wanted dead or alive. He’s been with me so long he’s started to wear my clothes! He won’t say how old he is but I’ve heard that the Vikings brought him over when they invaded Blackpool
Geoff

Geoff
Head of Security
He looks terrible even in a bikini! A single man, because he can’t find a partner who drinks as fast as him!
Paddy

Paddy
Security Supervisor
He’d only get a haircut if it was half price even if he didn’t need one. He once pulled a tenner out of his pocket and the picture of the note was the Queen aged 10 (he said it was Phil’s)
Neil

Neil
Security
The newest member to the crew, he’s a bit of a stray – we got him from Battersea Dogs Home – he’s sniffed a few dogs too
Phil

Phil
Sound and Lighting Engineer
He’s been doing well since Prince Charles lent him his ears
Toddy

Toddy
Support Band
He told me ‘we were once schizophrenic but the three and a half of us are ok now!’
Denise

Denise
Support Band
She once said ‘if the voices in my head came down to my throat, I’d be Beyonce’
Kieth

Keith
Driver and Merchandise Cashier
He’s seen less pussy than the Pope and he’s tighter than a ducks arse!