Meet the team

You all know me, but how well do you know my crew?

We’re a tight knit family and just like any other we have our moments were we don’t always get along – but god help you if you upset one of us!

Richie

Richie

Tour Manager

Also wanted dead or alive. He’s been with me so long he’s started to wear my clothes! He won’t say how old he is but I’ve heard that the Vikings brought him over when they invaded Blackpool

Geoff

Geoff

Head of Security

He looks terrible even in a bikini! A single man, because he can’t find a partner who drinks as fast as him!

Paddy

Paddy

Security Supervisor

He’d only get a haircut if it was half price even if he didn’t need one. He once pulled a tenner out of his pocket and the picture of the note was the Queen aged 10 (he said it was Phil’s)

Neil

Neil

Security

The newest member to the crew, he’s a bit of a stray – we got him from Battersea Dogs Home – he’s sniffed a few dogs too

Phil

Phil

Sound and Lighting Engineer

He’s been doing well since Prince Charles lent him his ears

Toddy

Toddy

Support Band

He told me ‘we were once schizophrenic but the three and a half of us are ok now!’

Denise

Denise

Support Band

She once said ‘if the voices in my head came down to my throat, I’d be Beyonce’

Kieth

Keith

Driver and Merchandise Cashier

He’s seen less pussy than the Pope and he’s tighter than a ducks arse!