Dogs Breath (the Wife) said “can we go on holiday abroad?” I said “what’s wrong with Devon? The people are nice, the Hells Angels have all got mopeds 🤣

As I’ve said, we live in a tiny village, and there was excitement on the high street yesterday, with people gossiping about the Headlines in the local paper! LIBRARY GETS NEW BOOK 📖🙄 The village has got a new set of traffic lights🚦but before they where fitted on the high street, all the residents were asked what colours they would like 🤔🙄 Also.. they do marry each other, but not from outside the village, they find a wife by looking in the Countryfile magazine 😬 I’ve been told you can swap a sheep or pig for a bride!🤣 One guy in the pub told me if he dies, his wife can’t touch his money until she’s old enough 😂😂

They may be cancelling I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here🤭 I know who’s bush I’d like to be in 🤞😂

The wife wants to get a tattoo🙄 I said “why don’t you get one above your minge saying f**king CLOSED”🤨👍🏼 Mind you, she’s a great cook.. that’s if you don’t mind burning your tongue 👅 on her Ice Cream 🍦😂 We have a security camera in the kitchen, just in case she tries to poison ☠️ me! 😯 She made a cake🍰 with bubblegum in it, it took 2 f**king weeks to eat it 🥵 I’ve found some lard in the pantry so we may have an early night tonight if you know what I mean 🤪 She said to me “is PREPARATION: H any good for a fat lip”😬

Well.. love to you all, hope you are all well, text later big hugs

Everyone Stay Safe 😷😷😷😷