Hi all you lovely people, I’ve just got back from the food bank, apparently they don’t do Caviar or strawberries & cream from Harrods 🤪 (I Wish). At least I can tell Stork from butter👍🏼 it’s f**king cheaper for one😂

A woman in the Post Office said to me “I know you! you are a household name!”😀 I said “so is a bl**ding dustbin!” 🙄 She said “I saw you get a standing ovation once” I said “Oh which Theatre was that at?” She said “it wasn’t in a Theatre, it was the in the VD and Piles clinic” 😬😬 She said “What brings you in here?” I said “threatening letters from the Gas and Electricity board” 😳 It’s an awful world, every time I breathe someone in China dies! 😦 I said “why not use mouth wash” 🧽 By the way do you have cotton wool balls? I said “who the fuck do you think I am? Dougal from the Magic Roundabout” (it’s a joke) 😂😂

Dogs Breath (the Wife) said “You don’t look very hungry to me! “I bet your photo can’t fit in your wallet! (cheeky bitch)🤪😇

As a child, we first lived in a house which was that far from the shops it took us 2 days by donkey! 🙄 Our gardener was called Albert Wankbreak🙄 one day a guy from the social came and he said to me “do you have a wankbreak?” I said “your joking he’s lucky if he gets a cup of tea” ☕️😂😂😂😂 We moved to a rough area, and we would let the postman steam his letters open on our kettle 😬The window cleaner said “I see you’ve got an outside toilet 🚾 I said “yes and nobody’s pinched the bucket yet”🤪 In those days, it was first one out of bed got the socks 🧦 Dad said that Santa Claus 🎅🏻 was the bogey man 😳 We weren’t prosperous at all.. our Rice Crispies used to go Snap Crackle and Flop😀

What’s the difference between the Corona virus 🦠 a Barrett House 🏠 Syphilis and a Skoda Car? Well you can get rid of Syphilis 😂😂😂😂

I love you all 😀👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

Everyone Stay Safe

Chubbs 👍🏼