Richard The Turd

Hello you lot

Well the way it’s going, all those people who have Covid-19 will have to go and live on the moon

I feel sorry for Leicester, empty shops smelling of curry! The only trouble is, in 1998 it was still 1970 in Leicester! Just ask Showaddywaddy! A great band & lovely people, the people in the town will always speak to you, I’ve been there a thousand times, I love it there

I once got a taxi he said “that’s 8 quid mate” I said “f**k that! I was hitchhiking ya C**t

I’ve been to China now.. anyone who eats ducks feet, monkeys brains lizards & bats can’t be a full shilling either that or they’ve been on Ant & Dec’s show!

Well according to the science Covid is coming down I think the powers that be treat us like a drunk treats a lamp post, they are pissing on us!

There is a gene in liars! All politicians have got it

If Boris had written the Ten Commandments, he’d have f**king changed four of them

You are either lucky or you are not I’m so unlucky, I stood at the carousel in the airport waiting for my big red case, I was still there when everyone had gone home! Some f**ker had painted it green Always expect the unexpected! Do you think Houdini was in that coffin

That Gertrude Cummins (you know who I mean) said she’d like to marry an alien well she already looks like one! Watching her on tv is like staring at a cows arse for days It’s no wonder Weightwatchers are suing her She’s everywhere at the moment, she’d turn up at a Beatles reunion! What a f**king diva I bet she finds it difficult to have an orgasm without getting out of breath She’d struggle taking a toffee paper off I’d sooner have constipation than f**k her