Leyburn Ice Cream

Morning everyone

Good weekend?

Dogs Breath (the Wife)is not pleased l took the batteries out of her vibrator! to use in the TV remote

She’s just said “on my birthday can l have a Rolex?” I said “what’s wrong with a Timex?” she said “a Rolex goes faster”talk about tik! We had the radio on and a tune was playing, she said “is that the carpenters?” I said “yes they are putting windows in next door”

Do you know, l once worked with a duo called Benson & Hedges, all they did was smoke

She said “l hated it when we used to make love when you smoked! l couldn’t balance the ash tray on my arse”

It never stopped raining last week, but the sun is out today, l can feel another hose pipe ban coming on So if it gets any warmer, leave your shirts on! wasps can fly and they love to eat skin

A Poem by ChubbsMy back aches, my leg aches My new dentures make me sick, But what l miss most of all..Is some pussy on my dick

We drove to Leyburn for a day out, what a lovely place, a proper market town, everyone’s on horseback I only had enough money for one ice creamthe wife’s face was longer than ETs phone bill f**k off! she got a lick