French Toast

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a safe weekend!

You won’t believe what Dogs Breath (the Wife) said to me on Saturday night, “can we put the electric blanket on?” I said to her “for f**ksake it’s July” I have to keep turning her over when she’s done like french toast We were both reminiscing yesterday, she said “can you tell me your first ever joke?” I said “yes.. it was two crabs on Robinson Crusoe’s bollocks, one said I’m off, I’ll see you on Friday” she said “no wonder you never got anywhere”… cheeky b*tch!

Well I’m as sick as a centipede with athletes foot!

There’s been no work up to now and dogs breath is tighter than a mermaids tampon The way things are going with this Corona, if we were all walking on stilts, we’d still be up to our eyes in shit!

I had a dream on Friday night, I’d won the lottery, and I was kidnapped! They had sent one of my ears back as proof that they had me but she said “I’m not convinced can you send his head” c**t