My god what a shock! The sun nearly came out yesterdayπŸ™„ fucking summers! I’ve shit them πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I’ve just got back from the hospital, I had to get my foot removed from gobshithes arse πŸ€ͺ

I always said her fanny was like a slot machine 🎰 I caught her giving the window cleaner the right f**king change 😦 She’s jealous of me, she keeps hiding my glasses so I can’t look at another woman’s tits 🀭

They say that swans mate for life, of course they do! They all look the F**king same! 😁

Oh and by the way, the person who nicked my ladders out of the garden, please return them or further steps will be taken!! 😏 I’ve been very suspicious of my neighbor, she’s been distracting me with her massive tits! They are that big, she could breastfeed Devon and Cornwall😬 You can tell they have got plenty of money, their dog only chases posh cars 🚘

Do you ever get lonely? I do, I rang a lonely hearts phone number and a guy answered, it was probably Sergeant Pepper πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

We got nothing as kids πŸ˜• Dad gave us pocket money on an elastic bandπŸ™„ and when we had chicken for dinner, I only got the ankleπŸ“ He once said β€œI’ve bought something for the house” 🏠 I just knew it wouldn’t have been a round of drinks 🍸🍺🍷πŸ€ͺ One morning I said β€œDad I’ve hurt my foot, what should l do?” he said β€œf**king limp!β€πŸ˜³

Keep happy & keep smiling

I love my fans to bitsπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

Everyone Stay Safe