My god what a shock! The sun nearly came out yesterday fucking summers! Iβve shit them
Iβve just got back from the hospital, I had to get my foot removed from gobshithes arse
I always said her fanny was like a slot machine I caught her giving the window cleaner the right f**king change
Sheβs jealous of me, she keeps hiding my glasses so I canβt look at another womanβs tits
They say that swans mate for life, of course they do! They all look the F**king same!
Oh and by the way, the person who nicked my ladders out of the garden, please return them or further steps will be taken!! Iβve been very suspicious of my neighbor, sheβs been distracting me with her massive tits! They are that big, she could breastfeed Devon and Cornwall
You can tell they have got plenty of money, their dog only chases posh cars
Do you ever get lonely? I do, I rang a lonely hearts phone number and a guy answered, it was probably Sergeant Pepper
We got nothing as kids Dad gave us pocket money on an elastic band
and when we had chicken for dinner, I only got the ankle
He once said βIβve bought something for the houseβ
I just knew it wouldnβt have been a round of drinks
One morning I said βDad Iβve hurt my foot, what should l do?β he said βf**king limp!β
Keep happy & keep smiling
I love my fans to bits
Everyone Stay Safe
Chubbs